Jomnivore #1 – Bagel with a Schmear

If there was ever a Jewish staple, it is the bagel with a schmear. Cliché?  As my co-workers from Wisconsin would say, youbetcha.  Still though, before any Jew eats matzoh or kreplach, they nosh on a bagel.  Not to mention this is pretty much as ethnic as it gets for the gentiles.

As a Jew in Colorado, the problem that I have is that pretty much all the bagels in this town suck.  When I was in high school, we used to always stop off at this place called I & Joy Bagels in my home town of Studio City.  It was on the way to good old Campbell Hall and the bagels kicked ass.  They were made the right way (boiled in a giant kettle) with heaps of crazy good whipped into a frenzy cream cheese.  Instead, I have to deal with this:

I don’t want to go all Schleprock here, but this place was serious suckage.

First of all, the place is called Big Daddy Bagels in Lafayette, Colorado.  Because apparently there are a bunch of cajun Jews in Lafayette.  Second, the cream cheese looked and tasted straight out of a Philly econo tub.  And then there’s the bagel.  Bland and decidedly not fresh (at 7AM mind you).  Oh, did I mention that the lady at the counter was too busy yammering about her new ring with some other lady to even say hello or thank you.  She didn’t even look at me or tell me my order total.  But she sure did love that sparkle on her finger.

Since we moved out here in 1995, I’ve found one place that has decent bagels – Moe’s.  The problem?  Moe’s is in Boulder and dragging ass out there for an AM bagel just isn’t an option.  So, I’ll just continue to suffer while I attempt to ingest what the city of Lafayette deems a “bagel”.  Meh.